“I tried so hard to pretend I was the carefree world traveler I desperately wished I’d been raised to be. But in truth I didn’t really know how to have fun alone. I was too scared I’d sound like an idiot ordering at restaurants, so I just bought bread and cheese from the grocery store and ate in public parks. I didn’t make friends with other travelers. I walked until my feet felt like they were going to fall off, then walked some more because I wasn’t sure how and where to relax.”
I have done my fair share of solo traveling. It was started from academic conference trips that I had to attend alone, then evolved into planned solo trips.
And as Ann said, traveling solo was not always easy. I remember being clueless in Porto not sure how to order food at restaurants, lost in translation in Beijing, and actually got lost in the middle of the night in Milan.
Now I am already used to traveling solo and actually prefer it that way. I like crafting an itinerary to my liking. Traveling solo means spending the day the way I desire, not accommodating or tolerating other people’s preferences.
December trip to Yogyakarta was my latest solo travel and it was fun. I visited new places and encountered new people. The trip would not be as free and fulfilling if I would not have been there by myself.
I remember on my way back to the hotel from a coffee shop, the afternoon rain has just stopped, and I felt a nice cold breeze. I saw a reflection of street light on the wet asphalt. It was not special or anything but it was beautiful, I stopped and stared at it for awhile. If I was with someone else, I may not notice it at all, or worse, my travel partner may demand me to walk faster. But at that time I can stare at the reflection as long as I want.
Generally I am happy and confident out in the world alone, but I still feel the need to justify myself when people ask, “Are you here alone?” because typically the reaction was either pity (couldn’t you find anyone who wanted to come along?) or confusion and concern (are you okay? what extremely sad event or life shakeup led you to take this solo trip?).
Society is easy to choose side and put label. Traveling together is good, traveling solo is bad. Having partner is good, being alone is not. Life choices are rigidly judged: this way is joy and other way is sorrow.
Maybe we can take a step back for a moment, is what we think of joy (having partner, traveling together) is really full of joy? Likewise, whether what we consider to be unfortunate (being alone, traveling solo) is really a complete sorrow?
I think no choice is a complete good or bad, but perhaps a combination of both? Most importantly, any choices, as long as it is not harmful or detrimental to other people, whether to travel solo / being alone, is not to be judged or not even to be understood, it is just need to be respected?
In Yogyakarta, I spent most of the time by myself. Gallery tours, coffees, morning runs, afternoon walks. I also had lunch and dinner alone. The duck confit was dry but the sego godhok was excellent. Rujak es krim was too sweet for my liking, but mie jawa I had was superb. Overall it was a great trip — I might have been pitied traveling alone, but I had A LOT of fun.
